Top 10 iPhone Apps of 2012
The Beachside Resident - March 2012

As part of our cutting-edge technology coverage, the editors of The Beachside Resident sent out our very own Dan Reiter to scour the Internet for the most exciting and innovative iPhone applications of 2012. After two months and over 50,000 hours logged on his iPhone, Reiter picked out his ten favorites:

Is it Raining?

This clever application transforms your iPhone into a pluviometer. What’s a pluviometer? Simple: hold your device horizontally and water will bead on your screen when rain is falling in your specific location. Never again suffer the embarrasment of saying, “It’s raining,” when the skies are clear and sunny!

Engaged Parent

Want to connect with friends and associates in real-time, but feel guilty when you aren’t interacting with your children in a meaningful way? Now, with Engaged Parent, you can do both. A second screen attaches to the back of your iPhone, allowing you to work, update your Facebook status, or watch TV on your mobile device while your child observes a digitized picture of your face on the opposite side. Incorporating state-of-the-art graphical and vocalization software, Engaged Parent controls your ersatz face so that you appear to be singing nursery rhymes or telling classic children’s stories. The best part? The child’s screen doubles as a movie viewer and game console!

Occupy Wall Street

The official OWS application lets you take part in the Occupy movement without having to leave the comfort of your home. Features include: streaming audio/video feeds from Zuccotti Park, Make-Your-Own Protest Sign game, free counterculture music downloads, blog tracker, “We are the 99%” theme and wallpaper, discounts on official Occupy merchandise, Facebook and Twitter integration, and more!


No time to read books, but want to keep up in literary circles? Abridge-It will have you waxing poetic on any tome in a matter of minutes. Plot, thematic points, character analyses, book reviews, and scholarly arguments are all at your fingertips. Surprise even the haughtiest crowd with abstruse Orville Prescott quotes or sarcastic quips from Christopher Hitchens. Classics, new releases, e-books, condensed author bios, and much, much more.


Your fringe Facebook friends are attacking you! Fight them off with intellect and ballistic nuclear weaponry. Combining elements of Tetris and Space Invaders, Facenuke! is a rapid-action puzzle game which requires you to stack up the profile pictures of your closest friends while you simultaneously blast through an onslaught of not-so-intimate acquaintances.

Real Talk

Simply the most advanced text-to-voice software on the market. Real Talk converts your text messages into the sound of your own voice, adding intonation and emphasis as you type. Select from a long list of moods: energetic, preoccupied, mournful, doubtful, blasé, zealous, and hundreds more. Real Talk even integrates with your telephone conversations: leave voice messages, talk with friends, or dictate notes to yourself. With Real Talk, you’ll never have to say another word again!

Day at the Park

A funky little mind game where you must navigate through a labryinth of celebrity effigies, flaming news headlines, and random, dive-bombing images culled from your browsing history. You’ll be catatonic by the time you make it through the second stage. The goal is to reach “The Park,” where you can relax in virtual sunlight and enjoy a picnic lunch without any words or pictures appearing on your screen. But hurry, before a Kardashian swallows you up!


Do you find it hard to pay attention to the conversation at the dinner table? Do friends accuse you of seeming aloof, preoccupied, or unresponsive? This trend-setting social application trains in on spoken keywords around you and sends alert messages to your screen when it is time for you to speak. With the push of a button, a discussion recap will appear on your screen, along with suggestions for your comments. Duologue integrates with Wikipedia, Abridge-It, and Real Talk, and is sure to transform you into the titillation of the dinner party.


Breeze through crowded streets, malls, and airports without the annoying interruption of having to lift your head. Forget the awkward name; Streetwalker is the perfect application for urbanites, world travelers, shoppers, and sociophobes. Features include: close-range navigational radar, high-volume alerts, GPS, quik-cam sensors, Facebook and Twitter integration, and more!

Muckraker 2012

Keep up with the latest scandals and allegations on the campaign trail, catch the latest “oops” moment live, browse through tax returns, mistress galleries, and unflattering red-filtered photographs as you await poll results. Muckraker 2012 includes a number of improvements over the 2010 edition, like PAC Tracker, pocket slanderizer, the Situation Room Blitzkrieg feed, and Ron Paul punching bag game.

Truth (HD)

Experience life on a whole new level with Truth (HD)’s breakthrough virtual reality software. Interface with your surroundings in real-time. Be astounded by your senses of sight, smell, touch, taste, and hearing. Features include: iPhone “power off” function, lessening of psychotic symptoms, human eye contact (HEC), inner peace, and more!

(Caution: Truth (HD) may cause heart palpitations, arrhythmia, general diffidence, convulsions, and cold sweats. If these conditions occur, it is recommended you power your iPhone back on immediately.)